|Portrayed by:||Michael Blaiklock|
|“||I'm not just your sexually adventurous neighbor, I'm also a committed public servant.||”|
— Eli, Pilot
Eli is the sexually adventurous health inspector who lives in the building next to Chloe and June. From his window seat, he provides sage and vaguely erotic advice as well as a third party perspective on the goings-on in the girls’ apartment. Eli is also a certified blacksmith but only uses the skill for “private” purposes. His apartment is quite large and it wraps around Apt. 23. This is illustrated by the fact that he can talk to the girls in their kitchen and their bathroom.